Vulnerability 101
April 21, 2016
So I’ve been thinking about this whole existence thing, and the complexity of the issues we all face on a daily basis. One of those issues—in fact, one of the biggest, most painful things we face—is betrayal. Letting people into your life is one of the greatest risks we can take, and yet it’s essential to becoming a fully-formed, well-rounded individual.
I’ve already said that I’m not an expert on human behavior, but I have seen my fair share of it, and I can tell you without a doubt that people aren’t always what they seem. Someone you’ve trusted implicitly can turn on a dime and become your worst enemy, and vice versa. It can come from the most unlikely of sources, too. I’m not pointing fingers at anyone in my life here, but I can say that I’ve seen church-going people, the kind who should understand what it means to follow a moral code, turn around on others and gossip about them or outright stab them in the back.
Look, I’m well aware that the world isn’t all sunshine and unicorns. I do believe, however, that our experiences--including the bad ones--help shape us as individuals, and that some good can come out of the worst experiences. For instance, coming out of a bad relationship can teach us the value of forgiveness or to treat others in a kinder way, so as not to repeat the mistakes of the past.
Theirs is a cost to opening oneself up to others, though, and that is the sense of vulnerability we all feel when letting someone into our hearts and minds and lives. Personally speaking, I come from at least three generations of religious-minded control freaks, which means that I loathe feeling vulnerable. Being in constant control of my emotions means that I’m safe and secure, at least in theory.
It also means stagnation and never challenging myself to grow and develop, which is something I have to fight against everyday. I spoke to my friend Cori about this the other night, and we came to the conclusion that all of the stuff I have gone through in the past year (learning to come to terms with myself, making new friends, trying to evolve as a person, etc.) has led me to be more open to interpersonal relationships as a whole. It’s taken a long time to get there, but I’m a lot more social than I’ve ever been, and that’s due to the influence of some amazing people I’ve met along the way.
Still, fighting my insecurities (usually with humor) and opening myself to others remains a challenge. I think it is for all of us, if we’re being honest with ourselves. I’m lucky to be surrounded by good people, and as I’ve gotten older, I’ve come to realize that being vulnerable ain’t so bad.
Like most things in life, it’s just something we have to go through in order to become stronger, better people.
So I’ve been thinking about this whole existence thing, and the complexity of the issues we all face on a daily basis. One of those issues—in fact, one of the biggest, most painful things we face—is betrayal. Letting people into your life is one of the greatest risks we can take, and yet it’s essential to becoming a fully-formed, well-rounded individual.
I’ve already said that I’m not an expert on human behavior, but I have seen my fair share of it, and I can tell you without a doubt that people aren’t always what they seem. Someone you’ve trusted implicitly can turn on a dime and become your worst enemy, and vice versa. It can come from the most unlikely of sources, too. I’m not pointing fingers at anyone in my life here, but I can say that I’ve seen church-going people, the kind who should understand what it means to follow a moral code, turn around on others and gossip about them or outright stab them in the back.
Look, I’m well aware that the world isn’t all sunshine and unicorns. I do believe, however, that our experiences--including the bad ones--help shape us as individuals, and that some good can come out of the worst experiences. For instance, coming out of a bad relationship can teach us the value of forgiveness or to treat others in a kinder way, so as not to repeat the mistakes of the past.
Theirs is a cost to opening oneself up to others, though, and that is the sense of vulnerability we all feel when letting someone into our hearts and minds and lives. Personally speaking, I come from at least three generations of religious-minded control freaks, which means that I loathe feeling vulnerable. Being in constant control of my emotions means that I’m safe and secure, at least in theory.
 |
| This woman has been one of my best friends and confidants over the past year. Thanks, Cori. |
It also means stagnation and never challenging myself to grow and develop, which is something I have to fight against everyday. I spoke to my friend Cori about this the other night, and we came to the conclusion that all of the stuff I have gone through in the past year (learning to come to terms with myself, making new friends, trying to evolve as a person, etc.) has led me to be more open to interpersonal relationships as a whole. It’s taken a long time to get there, but I’m a lot more social than I’ve ever been, and that’s due to the influence of some amazing people I’ve met along the way.
Still, fighting my insecurities (usually with humor) and opening myself to others remains a challenge. I think it is for all of us, if we’re being honest with ourselves. I’m lucky to be surrounded by good people, and as I’ve gotten older, I’ve come to realize that being vulnerable ain’t so bad.
Like most things in life, it’s just something we have to go through in order to become stronger, better people.
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